How often do you find yourself compromising yourself
How often do you find yourself compromising yourself, trying to do something because you feel you should do it, rather than because you want to or feel inspired to?
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I've been reflecting this week on my inability to post a new blog last Monday, having fallen victim to a schedule I've created. Last weekend I spent time searching for inspiration, putting myself under pressure because I always issue a new post on Monday, after all that's why I call it our Monday Musing! However last weekend the inspiration didn't come and for a while I found myself listening to negative self talk and feeling guilty and do you know, it was only once I started to accept the situation and give myself permission to take a Monday off, that here we are on Friday and inspiration has returned. My conclusion how often is our perceived success, or failure, our own choice!
Reflecting on my situation has reminded me of a valuable model I share with clients called
Cause > Effect
I ask them to consider which side of the equation they tend to operate from. When at the cause side of the equation, you'll find yourself taking responsibility for what is happening in your life and feel empowered. However whenever you find yourself blaming others for your situation, or feel the victim of your circumstances, you have given your power away and are operating from the effect side.
Being at cause leads to feelings of: being empowered, inspired, successful, achieving, alignment, confidence, assertive, accepting.
Alternatively being at effect leads to: blame, guilt, anxiety, fear, avoidance, confusion, excuses, doubt, judging.
When at cause you might hear yourself saying:
- I will
- How do I?
- Yes or no!
at effect, it's more like to be:
- I should
- Ill try
- If, but, maybe
Which language pattern is more typical for you?
Whenever you find yourself blaming others, or feeling a victim of your situation, stop and question if you truly had no choice but to respond in this way.
Things to consider:
- Observe yourself during the day and notice situations where you at cause and other times where you are at effect.
- What choices do you need to make to be at cause more of the time?
We'd love to hear stories of how having challenged yourself you've turned perceived failure into success
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Posted in Landscaping Post Date 02/20/2020